From Red-Hot Sex Secrets/Cosmo
How Long Should You Wait To Have Sex
There are so many rules about what you are supposed to do in relationships that it can make it not fun. One of the reasons we get into relationships in the first place is to find some meaningful companionship for however long we want.
But here’s the thing about sex (at least, from our perspective).
Really, depending on what you want, it’s all about what you want and how long you feel comfortable waiting for it. Everyone is a bit different.
Sex is weird
Ideally, you want to do it with someone that you’re comfortable with and can trust. If you’re comfortable with a partner on the first date, go ahead and make that call. If you’re not comfortable, but you would still feel okay with having sex, you can go through with it. But you might have your guard up and that make sex not enjoyable. If you like dirty talk, but you’re with a stranger, you might not feel comfortable asking for it. If you have preferences, you might be too nervous to ask.
Casual sex is great. It can be amazing. It’s also emotionally safe in a way because you’re under no obligation to connect with that person emotionally or feel committed to caring for their needs after the hookup. HOWEVER, it is also important to know if your partner is free of any sexually transmitted diseases or viruses. It might be worth having the awkward conversation about whether or not either of you has been tested, just to be on the safe side. It’s a risk you have to knowingly take if you decide to have casual sex.
Many people have been disappointed by past relationships in their lives. So they think: “Why bother to invest in sex emotionally?” That’s only one small reason why casual sex has exploded in popularity since the Vietnam era. Also sexual liberation for women and men happened. With these big changes, more people decided to get what they personally needed from sex. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that perspective.
Sex offers a more carnal intimacy that, if you’re not comfortable with the person emotionally, can make things very weird. You don’t want to make weird noises, then end up not being able to look them in the eye after the deed.
That’s where the benefit of waiting awhile, at least until you feel comfortable and can trust the person (and hopefully know their name), for sex comes in. With a person that you trust, you get to be even more selfish and get everything you want and feel safe for asking for it.
Wouldn’t you rather be comfortably selfish during sex? Wouldn’t that be a lot more fun?
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